A sister is more than a friend.

I am not one to hate, in fact, I love to love. I am that person who always sees the good in others and every time I'm too willing to give a second chance. I rarely get mad and when I do I say sorry with ease and easily forgive. I think it takes too much energy to be mad and hate something. At this moment in time, however, I am LIVID! Death is the most unfair thing, especially when you have to come to realization that one of your closest, dearest friends, basically sister is being taken away <= hardest sentence I have ever written in my life. This has got me thinking a lot about religion and god and here is what I have come to... I feel like everything I believed as a child was a lie and total bullshit. I was always taught that there is a lesson in every situation, but I don't think I ever will understand this 'lesson'. I don't want to hear your bullshit, cop-out answer that 'everything happens for a reason', because, let's be honest, does anyone ever find out what that reason really is? Your god keeps taking away the things I love. If he exists why is there never an intervention of things that are bad? Instead everyone just says 'prayer works' or 'just trust him', did your praying really work or did your situation get resolved because you were thinking about it constantly, so you got off your ass and did something about it. All I want to do is scream, because I know nothing else will make me feel better. I feel so selfish. This is probably the most jumbled post ever, but I had to get it out. AHHHGGGGGG!!!