my life in Paris...so far!

The Eiffel Tower of course!

This is the pathway I take to town everyday!

This is Lila, she's 4!

This is Anouchka, she is 6!

These are the 2 sweet girls I au pair for! Lila and Anouchka! They have such big hearts and are so sweet!




I'm loving every part of this experience! I miss everyone back home, but I still love my life here!

older

Today, I am 24. Today, I feel beautiful. Today, I feel free.
Today, I don't feel like a broken piece of art,
but a profound art piece that no one wants to pass up.
Today, even though I'm more than 5,000 miles away from my
amazing friends and family, I still feel loved. Today, I am happy. Today, I am
content with my life. Today, I was finally me.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow brings even more freedom.
Tomorrow isn't a scary thought anymore, but an exciting adventure.
I'm free. I'm happy.
I'm no longer a prisoner of fear, instead, I knock on it's door and say:
"Fuck You"
I'm loving me and who I'm becoming, more and more each day.
I am:
Strong.
Independent.
Lovely.
Beautiful.
Talented.
Gifted.
Loved.
Artsy.
Free Spirit.
Sensitive.
Laugh-er.
Lover not a Fighter.
Free Bird.
Thinker.
Jesus Lover.
Religion Hater.
Photographer.
Sister.
Friend.
daughter.
I have room to grow, and I am not afraid.

Hope...

I went to St. Michel today to meet some friends. While I was waiting I met this man and he was so kind. He started the conversation by saying his friend was late and asked where I was from. This gives me hope in meeting new people!

Crazy drivers!

AHHH!!! It has been a whirlwind week! So much learning and so much fun all at the same time! I am IN LOVE with the city called Garches, that's were i'm living and it's seriously like a movie. I can't decide if it's more like Diana's house in Anne of Green Gables, or a scene out of The Secret Garden, maybe a little of both. :) Either way, it's beautiful and I have no complaints!
I decided to go into Paris yesterday and in doing so, meant i also had to take the train and metro by myself! I was nervous, but decided that if I didn't overcome that fear it would just take me longer to do it, so I 'ripped it off like a band-aid' and just jumped in! I did it and I did a damn good job too! The only thing i did wrong was wear the wrong shoes...ow ow ow! My feet have never had more blisters and I'm definitely sorry for picking 'cuteness' over 'comfort'! Never again! Let's see...oh I was crossing the street and my living in Paris dream almost came to a stop when I almost got hit by a car! I just laughed it of (maybe because I was nervous), but I will FOR SURE be more careful the next time! :)


Here are some photo's of my adventure! :)

Happy

This is the definition of pure happiness! Nothing to worry about. No stress about a deadline. Not having to look over your shoulder, for once there is no worry and just happiness. I just can't get enough of it and I'm ready for more! It has been a whirlwind week! So much learning and so much fun all at the same time! I am IN LOVE with the city called Garches, that's were i'm living and it's seriously like a movie. I can't decide if it's more like Diana's house in Anne of Green Gables, or a scene out of The Secret Garden, maybe a little of both. :) Either way, it's beautiful and I have no complaints!
I decided to go into Paris yesterday and in doing so, meant i also had to take the train and metro by myself! I was nervous, but decided that if I didn't overcome that fear it would just take me longer to do it, so I 'ripped it off like a band-aid' and just jumped in! I did it and I did a damn good job too! The only thing i did wrong was wear the wrong shoes...ow ow ow! My feet have never had more blisters and I'm definitely sorry for picking 'cuteness' over 'comfort'! Never again! Let's see...oh I was crossing the street and my living in Paris dream almost came to a stop when I almost got hit by a car! I just laughed it of (maybe because I was nervous), but I will FOR SURE be more careful the next time! :)

Expectations.....

Don't read between the lines of this blog...if we still talk, I'm not talking about you:)

I was think today about my biggest fear. I am terrified of clowns, bugs and blood, but, i am horrified of being forgotten. Is this a rational fear, probably not, but it's still there. I'm not exactly sure where this fear came from, but, what i do know is that is has surfaced like an unexpected punch in the face, for the past month. I'm soo excited for this upcoming year and what it has to offer, but, I don't want to be forgotten. I feel that i have some relationships that are fading, some of them are already gone, and to be honest, that makes me sad. I'm one of those sentimental, optimistic people who thinks that all friendships (of any kind) will last forever, when in fact, most aren't real from the very beginning. I see people fading out of my life that are really ones that SHOULD have been people who would stick by you through the thick and thin, the bad, ugly and beautiful things in life. Instead, I now look at any relationships with a sour face and ask myself if it's really worth it to put all my energy and time invested into something that will just dissolve. This is why I'm so afraid of being forgotten, it turns out, the closest people to me, have indeed forgotten and turned away from any relationship there was to save.
This is an irrational fear.
I WILL get over this fear.
I will move on from the sadness of losing people really close to me.
After each of these statement I want to put a "but, what if" next to it, instead of that damn period! Why, because I'm also a fixer and hate it when relationships are broken! This is something that i need to work on and it will happen, i just need to know it takes time.

I love this quote and think that it's fitting for my life right now:
"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple; To be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there"
This next year is going to be big for me! I won't know anyone walking into this adventure, so my only friend will be me! I sure can't wait to make the most of everything that comes my way, i just can't put the expectation on a pedestal! Bring it on, life!! I don't know if I'm ready to conquer irrational fears, but i know it will happen! :)

No words...