AHHH!!! It has been a whirlwind week! So much learning and so much fun all at the same time! I am IN LOVE with the city called Garches, that's were i'm living and it's seriously like a movie. I can't decide if it's more like Diana's house in Anne of Green Gables, or a scene out of The Secret Garden, maybe a little of both. :) Either way, it's beautiful and I have no complaints!
I decided to go into Paris yesterday and in doing so, meant i also had to take the train and metro by myself! I was nervous, but decided that if I didn't overcome that fear it would just take me longer to do it, so I 'ripped it off like a band-aid' and just jumped in! I did it and I did a damn good job too! The only thing i did wrong was wear the wrong shoes...ow ow ow! My feet have never had more blisters and I'm definitely sorry for picking 'cuteness' over 'comfort'! Never again! Let's see...oh I was crossing the street and my living in Paris dream almost came to a stop when I almost got hit by a car! I just laughed it of (maybe because I was nervous), but I will FOR SURE be more careful the next time! :)
Here are some photo's of my adventure! :)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Happy
This is the definition of pure happiness! Nothing to worry about. No stress about a deadline. Not having to look over your shoulder, for once there is no worry and just happiness. I just can't get enough of it and I'm ready for more! It has been a whirlwind week! So much learning and so much fun all at the same time! I am IN LOVE with the city called Garches, that's were i'm living and it's seriously like a movie. I can't decide if it's more like Diana's house in Anne of Green Gables, or a scene out of The Secret Garden, maybe a little of both. :) Either way, it's beautiful and I have no complaints!
I decided to go into Paris yesterday and in doing so, meant i also had to take the train and metro by myself! I was nervous, but decided that if I didn't overcome that fear it would just take me longer to do it, so I 'ripped it off like a band-aid' and just jumped in! I did it and I did a damn good job too! The only thing i did wrong was wear the wrong shoes...ow ow ow! My feet have never had more blisters and I'm definitely sorry for picking 'cuteness' over 'comfort'! Never again! Let's see...oh I was crossing the street and my living in Paris dream almost came to a stop when I almost got hit by a car! I just laughed it of (maybe because I was nervous), but I will FOR SURE be more careful the next time! :)
I decided to go into Paris yesterday and in doing so, meant i also had to take the train and metro by myself! I was nervous, but decided that if I didn't overcome that fear it would just take me longer to do it, so I 'ripped it off like a band-aid' and just jumped in! I did it and I did a damn good job too! The only thing i did wrong was wear the wrong shoes...ow ow ow! My feet have never had more blisters and I'm definitely sorry for picking 'cuteness' over 'comfort'! Never again! Let's see...oh I was crossing the street and my living in Paris dream almost came to a stop when I almost got hit by a car! I just laughed it of (maybe because I was nervous), but I will FOR SURE be more careful the next time! :)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Expectations.....
Don't read between the lines of this blog...if we still talk, I'm not talking about you:)
I was think today about my biggest fear. I am terrified of clowns, bugs and blood, but, i am horrified of being forgotten. Is this a rational fear, probably not, but it's still there. I'm not exactly sure where this fear came from, but, what i do know is that is has surfaced like an unexpected punch in the face, for the past month. I'm soo excited for this upcoming year and what it has to offer, but, I don't want to be forgotten. I feel that i have some relationships that are fading, some of them are already gone, and to be honest, that makes me sad. I'm one of those sentimental, optimistic people who thinks that all friendships (of any kind) will last forever, when in fact, most aren't real from the very beginning. I see people fading out of my life that are really ones that SHOULD have been people who would stick by you through the thick and thin, the bad, ugly and beautiful things in life. Instead, I now look at any relationships with a sour face and ask myself if it's really worth it to put all my energy and time invested into something that will just dissolve. This is why I'm so afraid of being forgotten, it turns out, the closest people to me, have indeed forgotten and turned away from any relationship there was to save.
This is an irrational fear.
I WILL get over this fear.
I will move on from the sadness of losing people really close to me.
After each of these statement I want to put a "but, what if" next to it, instead of that damn period! Why, because I'm also a fixer and hate it when relationships are broken! This is something that i need to work on and it will happen, i just need to know it takes time.
I love this quote and think that it's fitting for my life right now:
"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple; To be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there"
This next year is going to be big for me! I won't know anyone walking into this adventure, so my only friend will be me! I sure can't wait to make the most of everything that comes my way, i just can't put the expectation on a pedestal! Bring it on, life!! I don't know if I'm ready to conquer irrational fears, but i know it will happen! :)
I was think today about my biggest fear. I am terrified of clowns, bugs and blood, but, i am horrified of being forgotten. Is this a rational fear, probably not, but it's still there. I'm not exactly sure where this fear came from, but, what i do know is that is has surfaced like an unexpected punch in the face, for the past month. I'm soo excited for this upcoming year and what it has to offer, but, I don't want to be forgotten. I feel that i have some relationships that are fading, some of them are already gone, and to be honest, that makes me sad. I'm one of those sentimental, optimistic people who thinks that all friendships (of any kind) will last forever, when in fact, most aren't real from the very beginning. I see people fading out of my life that are really ones that SHOULD have been people who would stick by you through the thick and thin, the bad, ugly and beautiful things in life. Instead, I now look at any relationships with a sour face and ask myself if it's really worth it to put all my energy and time invested into something that will just dissolve. This is why I'm so afraid of being forgotten, it turns out, the closest people to me, have indeed forgotten and turned away from any relationship there was to save.
This is an irrational fear.
I WILL get over this fear.
I will move on from the sadness of losing people really close to me.
After each of these statement I want to put a "but, what if" next to it, instead of that damn period! Why, because I'm also a fixer and hate it when relationships are broken! This is something that i need to work on and it will happen, i just need to know it takes time.
I love this quote and think that it's fitting for my life right now:
"Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple; To be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there"
This next year is going to be big for me! I won't know anyone walking into this adventure, so my only friend will be me! I sure can't wait to make the most of everything that comes my way, i just can't put the expectation on a pedestal! Bring it on, life!! I don't know if I'm ready to conquer irrational fears, but i know it will happen! :)
Monday, June 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Friend
There is, or should be, at least one person in your life that is able to see the good, the bad and the ugly, and still love you with all their heart, no matter what. In my life I have been blessed with more than one of these kinds of true friends. Of course I have my sisters, brothers, mother, grandmother, aunts, unlces, cousins, who love me more than i can imagine and I'm so very blessed to have them in my life forever. As for friends, i have been blessed with more than one of these "True Friends" and for that I am also extremely grateful.
I think Ray LaMontagne explains it best in his song "Let It Be Me". Music is one of my great loves and I think, sometimes, life is better understood with lyrics that go deep into the soul. The meaning can always be different for others, but the way you interpret them is all that matters. :)
There may come a time
A time in everyone's life
Where nothing seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time
You just can't seem to find your way
For every door you walk on to
Seems like they get slammed in your face
That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Feels like your always comin' on home
Pockets full of nothin' and you got no cash
No matter where you turn, you ain't got no place to stand
Reach out for something and they slap your hand
Now I remember all too well
Just how it feels to be alone
You feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own
That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
That's all for now :)
I think Ray LaMontagne explains it best in his song "Let It Be Me". Music is one of my great loves and I think, sometimes, life is better understood with lyrics that go deep into the soul. The meaning can always be different for others, but the way you interpret them is all that matters. :)
There may come a time
A time in everyone's life
Where nothing seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time
You just can't seem to find your way
For every door you walk on to
Seems like they get slammed in your face
That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Feels like your always comin' on home
Pockets full of nothin' and you got no cash
No matter where you turn, you ain't got no place to stand
Reach out for something and they slap your hand
Now I remember all too well
Just how it feels to be alone
You feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own
That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
That's all for now :)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Lonely
I am hurt.
I am confused.
I feel alone.
The real reason for not wanting to be on Facebook? I didn't want to see you post on OTHER peoples post, and not MINE.
I feel a void not talking to you. We used to talk 1-3 times a day, what is really going on?
When did everything hit the fan?
You were my person, my best friend, and now, I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
I hope things get better soon.
I miss you...
I am confused.
I feel alone.
The real reason for not wanting to be on Facebook? I didn't want to see you post on OTHER peoples post, and not MINE.
I feel a void not talking to you. We used to talk 1-3 times a day, what is really going on?
When did everything hit the fan?
You were my person, my best friend, and now, I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
I hope things get better soon.
I miss you...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Disconnect
I want you to know what's going on. Today, I asked My best friend, Wendy, to go onto my facebook and change my password and not tell me what it is until i'm ready to face the drama of the 'real' world again. I honestly wish that i could just disconnect from everything, and when i come back to the real world everything would magically just be fixed. That, however, is not reality. I have a void, an emptiness and a want for more in life. I know that this doesn't fix anything, but to me this is less stressful. Having a twitter, blog, flickr, facebook, myspace, and e-mail account that you have to update is adding stress, not making anything better!! All of these are supposed to help you connect to the people you love not take you further away from fixing things.
February was seriously the most stressful month that i have had to go through in a really long time. I felt like I had to go through it alone. I haven't talked to my mom for 2 months because of a stupid miscommunication and every time she would post on one of my siblings posts i felt even more alone, and i would get mad she was talking to them and not me. Seeing that has hindered any 'fix' to this relationship and that makes me sad and is the main contributor as to why i'm not a facebook junkie anymore. I feel like this is the only way to fix and become closer to my family. I don't want to fight with anyone and i don't want anything petty to become a problem before the BIG issue is fixed. There is no easy button in life, but i'm going to simplify my life as much as possible, fray hairs aren't becoming to a 23 year old. :)
If you want to get a hold of me you can call, text or e-mail. Love y'all!
February was seriously the most stressful month that i have had to go through in a really long time. I felt like I had to go through it alone. I haven't talked to my mom for 2 months because of a stupid miscommunication and every time she would post on one of my siblings posts i felt even more alone, and i would get mad she was talking to them and not me. Seeing that has hindered any 'fix' to this relationship and that makes me sad and is the main contributor as to why i'm not a facebook junkie anymore. I feel like this is the only way to fix and become closer to my family. I don't want to fight with anyone and i don't want anything petty to become a problem before the BIG issue is fixed. There is no easy button in life, but i'm going to simplify my life as much as possible, fray hairs aren't becoming to a 23 year old. :)
If you want to get a hold of me you can call, text or e-mail. Love y'all!
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